How to cook bonefish

A surprising number of searches get directed to this website for the search terms “How to cook bonefish,” or “cooking bonefish.”

Don’t eat bonefish.  Really… just don’t do it.  I know some cultures have a history of doing it, and for them, I say “I wish you wouldn’t, but understand if you harvest one every once in a while.”  If you are not one of those people I just say “DON’T DO IT!”

These are game fish that are way too valuable to be eaten.  Go get some Mahi Mahi, go get some carnitas (mmmmm, carnitas) or kalua pig (mmmmmm, other form of pork).  Don’t eat bonefish.  In Florida, they figure that each bonefish, over its lifetime will contribute about $75,000 to the Florida economy, about $2,500 each year.  This is sustainable, catch and release angling.  These are good jobs which value local eyes and local color.  This isn’t cleaning up the puke from spring breakers… these are good jobs.

If you absolutely MUST cook a bonefish, here is what you need to know….

  • Take a 6″ bonefish (bonefish over 6″ are poisonous and will kill you with the slightest taste) and set aside.
  • Get a kettle of oil, fill kettle all the way to the top and heat to 650 degrees.
  • Call fire department.
  • Run out of burning building.

If you think you can’t destroy the bonefish stock and that they’ll always be there, just ask the people of Campeche in Mexico. There used to be bonefish there and there aren’t bonefish there anymore. Haven’t been bones there for 20 years or more at this point. Netting is what did it. You can pretty well wipe out a whole population with modern nylon netting.

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12 comments

  1. I never heard of bonefish before… Other than the retaurant. Strange to name retautrant after a food that could kill you. Anyhow, thought you might like a link to backup the poisonous facts. I found this after reading your site. http://www.rightdiagnosis.com/b/bonefish_poisoning_clupeotoxin/symptoms.htm

  2. Bonefish poisonous? Since when. Maybe Florida bonefish are poisonous but I haven’t run across any place else that is. I wouldn’t eat Florida bonefish because, the fishing guides depend on it. Besides, they are too small. If you want some big ones, then you have to go to Hawaii, Wake Island, Kiribatis, or the Marshall Islands to name a few. Rongelap in the Marshall Islands would be a good choice for bonefishing the big guys. Florida is too overfished. Off all of them, Wake Island is the best, but it is virtually impossible to get to fish unless you work there. I have fished it and it is phenomenal! And made fishcake with the bonefish catch. Still alive.

  3. Yup… totally poisonous… so you shouldn’t kill them. Also, Bald Eagles are poisonous. And puppies.

  4. You guys are idiots to believe bonefish to be poisonous. They are very difficult to prepare, but very delicious. First, get a mallet and tap away at the fish. Tenderize all the meat within. Once the meat is all mushed inside, cut off the tail and squeeze the meat out. Make croquet as. Yum. The guy who wrote this is a supreme pu$$y. Grow up. No such thing as a game fish. If you’re hungry, eat it.

  5. bonefishbjorn

    Thanks Mike. Glad to see you totally miss the entire concept of sarcasm. It really helps get the point across that most folks who eat bonefish are troglodytes. So, keep at it. I also love that you want to call me a pussy, but think that’s too vulger or something, so you have to write pu$$y. Yup. What a jackass (or, as you’d write it “jacka$$”).

  6. Chunks Jaxson

    Now now boys, let’s not get so excited.
    Bjorn, I wasn’t sure if you were being sarcastic or not so I can see Mike’s confusion.
    Mike, Bjorn has a point. You could have simply called him a vagina and achieved the correct vulgarity to propriety ratio.

    Like fishing, hunting, smoking, drinking, etc., life is about balance and moderation.

    I hope my sage wisdom has diffused this contentious situation.

  7. The best is to make won-tons with ‘O’io (Hawaiian name for bonefish). Squeeze out or scrape with a spoon all of the meat, season with salt/pepper add chopped water chestnuts, chopped green onions and wrap a spoonful in a won-ton wrapper and fry golden brown. Yep I’m one of those guys in Hawaii who knows we have to many tourist and a healthy population of ‘O’io that taste great! Plus ours are twice as big as the Atlantic vagina bones. idiot!

  8. Pro Tip Ben. If you are going to call me an idiot you might want to look into the difference between “to” and “too.” Aloha to you, buddy.

  9. You can stick your head in a burning kettle if you wanna bjorn, but I’m gonna catch some oio today and make more fish katsu, so good luck with your way of cooking em.

  10. bonefishbjorn

    Ha… you do you… but really… got eat a burger.

  11. 75k per bonefish, that is complete bullshite

  12. That’s actually not bullshite. Just because you don’t know a thing, or don’t understand the math doesn’t mean it isn’t real. There is some real value in those fish, which is a fact which is true regardless of your belief in it.

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