Dear Fishing Gods,
I appreciate your efforts to teach me humility. The two goose-eggs produced the last two days are true examples of your power and my powerlessness. That trip to the Bahamas was a real show of force as well and we don’t even need to get into the stolen St. Croix, my brush with the Message Board Which Must Not Be Named or my inability to make it to the East Walker for the past six months.
You have clearly been working overtime to show me who’s boss and I admit that it is you, not me and that I have a load to learn… including patience and humility.
Thinking back, I think you might have been behind that big fish I lost on the Metolius last summer. Boy, that was a good lesson learned there. You truly are a powerful and spiteful deity. You must have had a good chuckle about that one… knot in the leader, green drake, 20″+ fish… and spectators… if there is more than one of you, you must have had a good communal giggle on my account there.
Back to present times, I would really appreciate it if you’d just knock it the hell off and let me catch some fish again while I’m down here in Vallarta for a few more days. I would sacrafice a goat or chicken or something, but I simply don’t have any. However, when I get back home I’ll run a nail over my Fallout 3 game for my PS3, which should satisfy your wanton desire to inflict pain on the souls of faithful anglers.