Feb 16

Anyone ever heard of Big Huge Bonefish Flat?


We got to know one spot on our little DIY portion of the trip, although we fished several. When I got back home I decided to look and see if anyone had ever written about it. One reference came up on a message board. I fictionalized the exchange, else all you jokers would figure it out.

The Question:

Anyone ever heard of Big Huge Bonefish Flat? A buddy told me about it and I’m thinking of hitting it when I get over that way for Spring Break. Any info appreciated!

The Reply:

Hate to disappoint you on this one. I fished it with a dear, departed friend last year. Turns out there is a special kind of jelly fish that spawns on that flat and I got stung almost a thousand times while wading. All those toxins accumulated in my blood over the next couple of days and made me hallucinate on the plane home. I thought I was riding a sperm whale through a rain storm  and kept yelling “Who has the sperm now!” while ZZ Tops played You are My Sunshine. Needless to say, I can’t fly Bahamas Air anymore. The other problem with the flat was that it was so soft. I sank up to my nipples 6 times on that flat and I think some Bahamian version of the Candiru swam up my bit and tackle. I haven’t been able to pee pain free ever since. But wait, it gets worse. There are bull sharks around and mean ones at that. I mentioned I fished it with my dear, departed friend… well… the bulls got him. Wasn’t even enough to send back for a funeral.

Didn’t see any more than a couple of bonefish on that flat.

I’d say it would be a waste of time, maybe even dangerous. I wouldn’t go to that place. In fact, I wouldn’t even mention it again… ya know… bad luck and all.

The next time you see someone describe a place like this drop everything and go there at once.