I walked into the Starbucks since I had some time to kill before my event.  As I walked in, two guys passed me on the way out and I was struck by the uniform they wore since it was very similar to my own. Slacks. Dress shirt. Messenger bag slung over the shoulder. They were in blue, I was in tan, but it was just the details which were different.

I looked around the coffee shop and saw the same uniform on another 5 or 6 guys. The hum of Silicon Valley could be heard from the open laptops and bluetooth headsets and the feeling of self-importance resonating from all these people doing important-ish things.

Maybe I should have felt a part of that, but at that moment, I felt very far removed from it and instead of seeing where I fit into all of it, I could only picture myself very far removed. The feeling that hit me, consciously and loudly as I walked into the Starbucks, was a desire to be somewhere with sand under my feet and sun in the sky and clear salt water extending out in front of me.

It was a feeling of not belonging here and it hit me in an instant.

The truth is that this is probably where I do belong. I live here, I work here and I will for the foreseeable future. I have an anchor (I love very much) that keeps me living here in the form of a 5 year old girl and a custody agreement signed and sanctioned by courts and lawyers and judges. I’m not going anywhere. This is my home and this is my uniform.

Still… it doesn’t feel like it. I have no rational reason to feel such an affinity for tropical places. My background is Norwegian, English, French, Scottish and probably a few other very European ingredients… not one of them in a shade that would offer the slightest bit of protection from a tropical sun.

My soul is the most content when I’m standing on a flat, the sun playing peek-a-boo behind fast moving clouds, my eyes scanning the water for movement and silhouettes.

I can’t explain that, but I know it all the same.

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  1. Amen, brother. I can definitely relate.

    “All Day I Dream About Salt”

  2. It’s a sickness. The only cure is sunny tropical flats.

  3. Ummm, helllllooooo. It IS Bonefish Bjorn right?
    That’s just how it is man. We have gotten a taste of the good life (ie. bones, Kaliks and conch) and now we NEED it.

  4. And Bonzzzzzz …. 🙂

  5. I know that feeling. And I spent an adult lifetime living on the edge but never stepping off. I would do the trip thing, or, fly in or choose to live remote and live wilderness but still commute. Two thoughts come to mind: “Look at them lunch toters, toting them lunches…” and “Think about this: Can you truly deviate from the path that has been set before you?” — Best…Dai

  6. Thumbs up! The uniform is only a ticket of admission … enjoy the game, enjoy the game.

  7. I feel ya, brother… however, I feel you a lot less than usual since I’m in that place right now… Yup, I’m down here where it’s all sun, Kaliks, and (a few) good bonefish that like my flies.

    Tight lines to you soon.

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