The Trump Administration announced today the rational behind their abandonment of storm ravaged Puerto Rico. Surprisingly, the reasoning was focused on conservation.
Trump released the following statement:
“The Puerto Rico, I hear, is fantastic. My son, not Eric, the other one, the good one, loves to do fishing, he says to me, “Mr. Trump,” he calls me Mr. Trump,” he says to me “Do you ever wonder what it would be like to fish back in the 1800’s?” and I say to him “No,” but it gets me thinking, right, because I’m a great thinker, maybe one of the best thinkers, everyone is saying so, like on Fox they said that this morning, I think, well, if they didn’t say it, someone else did, maybe Carson, and I was thinking I can make Puerto Rico just like it was back in the old days before Russia and back when America was Great, and we are making it great again, you can be sure of that, and I thought, “No power!” Right? So, bam, big storm, not that storm, I mean the hurricane storm, comes and wipes out a bunch of infrastructure and, BAM, now it’s just like it was in the 1800’s and maybe Junior will get down there to fish for a bit and he can tell me what it was like to fish in the 1800’s. So, it is really about, ya know, the fish, #respecttheresource, and I think all these leftists and the failing Washington Post and all that, that they should say Thank You for what we do. I just think they should say Thank You and that’s what I think should happen because I don’t think there has ever been an administration that has done something like this, this forward kind of thinking about going back and the greatness and the people are going to love it.”
At last, the mystery is solved.